I think everyone has asked themselves (or their organizer) this question at some point or another. I even asked myself that question when I decided the chest my parents bought me in eighth grade was too full. Let me explain…
I’m a person that understands a bit of sentimentality. I still have the first flower a boy gave me in elementary school pressed into the diary I was keeping at the time. I treasure that memory, and it makes me feel good to know it’s there even if I only glimpse it once every five years. However, I’m also a person who hates the clutter of things that I don’t find beautiful, useful or valuable to my life today. Soooo, how do I juggle these two seemingly opposite perspectives? I allow one chest to house the entirety of my sentimental collection. The chest in itself is sentimental. My parents bought it in a cute collection of German-founded villages in Iowa we used to like to visit called the Amana Colonies. I fell in love with the chest on one such visit and in honor of my auspicious eight grade graduation, the chest was purchased. That one chest has stayed with me through decades, multiple moves and life stages. It has survived, but the contents have evolved. I made a pact with myself at some point to confine my diaries, letters, license plates, graduation tassels to this one space. When it gets full, I know it’s time to edit the contents. In one of these editing sessions, it was easy to decide that the ‘flower’ diary stayed but not so with a sweatshirt I purchased in college with my alma mater emblazoned across the front. I just sat there staring at it. While it looked just like the two others I had purchased in different colors and my gut knew it was time to get rid of it, I kept hesitating to put it into the donation bag. Why?!? I wasn’t going to wear it. I hadn’t worn it in decades! So, why did I have a hard time letting it go? I remembered my friends then, the shopping trips we used to take to the university shop we used to purchase logo’d goods from. I remembered a younger version of me… It was a good feeling, and I guess I was a little afraid that if I let the sweatshirt go, I wouldn’t feel those feelings again…
Psychological science backs up my experience and misgivings as those experienced by many. In fact, those that study this phenomenon “say that we start becoming emotionally attached to our things at a very early age. We [also] decide that things might come in handy later, [and] that if we throw them away we will feel loss.” (Jarrett, Christian. “The Psychology of Stuff and Things.”) It’s a real thing! But studies also show that decluttering our environments of things that no longer benefit us, aesthetically or practically, has enormous benefits for us psychologically, emotionally and even physically. Numerous studies have shown that paring down decreases the stress hormone cortisol in our systems, increases our ability to focus and boosts our self-esteem. It can also improve relationships with the people with which we share the space and even lower our risk for asthma and allergies. The bottom line is that while it’s good for us to declutter and organize, it can be difficult to do so. So, now what? There are a few things that can help us let go…
First, remind yourself that memories are not tied to things. The memories remain even after the item is gone. But you may say, “Right. However, those memories are triggered when I see the item.” Agreed. There is a connection. So, think of another way to trigger those memories. For example, you might take pictures of the items. And, if you prefer a more tangible way to access the items and memories besides a digital photo, consider making (or having made) a book that collates all of these images into a volume. The good news is that this option requires a lot less space, and the book can easily be passed on to future generations that might also like to access the memory of the time you told them why the items were so beloved.
Another strategy is to start decluttering your space with ‘easy wins.’ If it’s an attic or basement that needs to be pared down, start with the cans of paint that have dried up and don’t even resemble the color of the bathroom renovation they were used for ten years ago. In other words, start with the items that don’t require a lot of emotional effort to move out. Progressively, up the emotional ante in terms of the category of items that you tackle, and, finally, get to the boxes of old love letters and mementos that you know are going to be difficult to get rid of. Decision-making is like a muscle, and you can build it up by steadily strengthening it.
You can also work with someone who can help you look at items with an impartial eye and help you find solutions to part with the items that are no longer serving you while holding on to the memories. Of course, (shameless personal plug!) a good organizer can hep you do just that. However, if that’s not in the cards right now for whatever reason, a trusted friend or family member might also be an option. Sometimes we just need help from someone outside of the voice in our heads to grease the wheels of decluttering.
So, while organizing and decluttering can trigger real, and sometimes difficult emotions, it is a proven way to help us live a less stressful and, dare I say, joyful way of life. Now, that’s something we all need, right? You got this! (And, if you don’t, call me! We’ll work through it together!😊)
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